TYW Day 3: The Night I Realized I Could Never Go Lesbo

Our engine broke.

I have no idea what actually happened. I think we were leaking oil. Or something. But not at an alarmingly fast rate. So we were required to either sail, or use our engine but to go no faster than 4 knots. Today. It took us a freaking long time to go where we were going. But we left early, so it wasn’t so bad. We also got to sail in and around several Greek islands which made for a bit of a change in scenery.

And we kind of got pretty drunk today too.

We nicknamed Dokos (Δοκός) “Sex Island” because… well I don’t really remember. But I do remember that we made several sacrifices of stale pita and bread in an attempt to help all of us score more. We also decided to get a bit closer so the boys could attempt to do a bit of cliff diving. We got as close as we could, which still must have been a really far swim for them, and stopped the boat. The cliffs were pretty sheer and I’m sure required a decent amount of athletic ability to under-hang climb up over the part that was touching and being eroded by the sea.

Alisa and I were bored, and thought this would be the perfect opportunity for a bit of skinny dipping. We were already topless on the boat, so it really just required throwing off the bottoms and since Justin was the only boy around to ogle, we went for it. And honestly, it was pretty amazing. I haven’t always been the most comfortable naked person, but being that I feel like I’m becoming more European everyday, I’m starting to think it’s a fun new way to enjoy the water.

After we called the boys back from the cliffs and put our swimsuits back on just before they reached us with their goggles, we got back to the sailing. As if things couldn’t get better today, all the sudden, we notice that we are being followed by a school of dolphins. These guys were HUGE, at least 7-8 feet long and gorgeous. They weren’t the typical grey bottle nosed that you see back in the states but these gorgeous navy blue and grey striped. They jumped and played with our boat as we sailed along for at least 15 minutes while we snapped pictures and marveled at how amazingly beautiful they were.

We finally arrived in Spetses (Σπέτσες) just as the sun was setting. We joined up with the Sweaty Swea who said they saw some dolphins as well and in addition caught a bit of sea turtle and got in the water to swim around with the big guy. In Spetses, where we were, there is no actual marina where you can tie up, so what you have to do is anchor your boats in lines and then use dinghies to navigate your way to the coast. All 14 of us had dinner reservations together and parked our dinghies together on a little pebble beach.

Dinner was at these big long wooden tables and was pretty amazing. The only problem was, service was slow, and as such, Alisa and I killed two jugs (not bottles, but like 3 liter jugs) of wine before dinner even started. For dinner we had fried pork, meatballs, more tziki, sardines and this amazing potato salad that tasted a lot like the cold potato and garlic salad you can get as a tapa back home.

After dinner, TYW had a club set up for us a little farther in town. The club was ultra modern with all white interior and a cool centrally located round bar. They also had a great outdoor patio where it was much less sweaty and crowded and where I met the lesbian love of my life.

She’s Russian. And perfect.

I spent most of the night talking about how I was going to go talk to her, but never could get up the guts to do so. Then I finally went up to order drinks one time with Justin and realized very quickly why I will never be a lesbian. She asked me what I wanted, with a little cold Russian smile. And I freaked my shit out. I stuttered and stammered and looked at my feet and “uh, uh”-ed my way into a Vodka Tonic. She looked at me like I was diseased, made me a drink as quickly as she could and never made eye contact again.

Girls suck.