The Longest Bus Ride in My Life

Balkans Tour Day 4.5/5

Now we get to the part of the trip I was dreading the most. Not only is this the notorious 17 hour bus ride I had heard about, but it’s also the point where I have to attempt to illegally cross back into the EU/Schengen Europe. I am terrified, to put it lightly.

I found the tourist office pretty quickly. The owner didn’t speak English, but he did understand when I pointed to Athens on a map. He wrote out €30 on a piece of paper and we were in business. I had no idea how long the journey would take or when it would start or where, but I was in.

A couple of hours later, my bus pulled up and I climbed aboard. There were only 5 other people on the bus already and I wondered how it’s possible for a company like this to drive 17 hours on only €180. I chose a seat by the window, unpacked all my stuff and planned my routine for the next 17 hours. The first thing I noticed is that there was no toilet on board. I’m really not sure how anyone is supposed to hold it for 17 hours, but this made me incredibly nervous given the nature of my crap-tastic stomach. So I popped 3 valium to get the trip started. Precautionary.

For the next 3 or so hours, we drove from one tiny town to another picking people up. Slowly the bus filled up. I found out the hard way that I was in the wrong seat. Finally, the bus was completely full and we set off for Greece.

My impression of Albania at this point was sort of.. blah. The cities were pretty dirty and the roadside countryside looked like a dump of abandoned buildings and shandytowns. There were people living all over the streets and the sides of the highways. There were people hanging out of abandoned box cars on the railroad track and what appeared to be complete villages under overpasses.

I found the electric company sign ironic as it was a mess of wiring on both sides hanging down into the street.

Of all the people on the bus who could have been seated next to me, it was a 10 year old Albania girl who spoke perfect English. Though, she admitted, she’d never spoken to a native English speaker before. She’d just learned in school and sometimes her and her friends spoke English because their parents can’t understand. She became my best friend for the next 14 hours. She told me all about Albania and her trip to Greece to see her brother who is in college there. I had her ask her parents a couple things about the country. One thing in particular was the abundance of what appeared to be abandoned building structures and foundations.

She explained to me that during the end of communism, buildings were ordered to be built all over the country and that when communism was overthrown, the buildings no longer had a purpose or a group of people to complete them, so they were left as is. I’m telling you, if you ever drive through Albania, you will see at least 1,000 of these. They are everywhere. Almost every 100 yards along the highway in some places.

What I wasn’t expecting, was the gorgeous countryside when we hit southern Albania. These pictures suck because the lighting was terrible and to compensate, I’ve over photoshopped them, but I wanted you to get an idea of what we were looking at. It was completely unexpected.

It was really beautiful, definitely my kind of scenery with the rolling green lush hills and the farmland. Would love to come back here and spend some time.

As soon as it was dark, the televisions on board snapped on. I was somewhat grateful as I had been talking about Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber for a solid two hours at this point and I was ready for a little relief. The shows on were comedy shows, I think. People were laughing. It was a variety show of some sorts with dancers and singers and comedians. I watched it intently for some reason. It wasn’t funny. I could tell.

At about 10:30 PM, the bus pulled up to a roadside restaurant and gas station and we were allowed off to use the bathroom and get some food. I couldn’t believe we’d actually gone 5 hours without stopping, but I now knew this was not going to be one of those busses that stopped frequently. I grabbed some dinner and walked around for a little bit to stretch. We got back on the bus to be greeted by some more quality Albanian television. Fortunately, about half way through the incredibly crappy program, the DVD player broke. And we were left with silence. Mmmm.

We hit the Greece border about 1:30 AM. I had fully built myself up to the terror that was the Greek border. We pass through the Albania side and I falsely think that’s it breathing a big sigh of relief as the bus pulls away and I’ve MADE IT! But no. I’d made it into no-man’s land. But that’s it. We all have to get off the bus to walk through the Greek border one at a time. Bus driver comes back from the office to get us arranged. “Abbey Hesser – ven pa’ca” – Oh, ya I forgot to tell you, my Albanian bus driver only spoke Albanian and a little Spanish. So we communicated in Spanish. Anyway, “Abbey Hesser, ven pa’ca” he yells again. And I do as he’s told. I’m to go first through immigration. I’m convinced it’s because I’m in trouble. I’m going to get deported, right here in Albania. I’m a gonner.

Turns out. The Albanian border is a frequent place for immigrants to try and sneak into the EU. Not me immigrants, but Albanians, Macedonians, Bosnians. So they pulled me to the front of the line to be the “easy one” not because I was in trouble. They stamped me through before my info even popped up on the screen and that was it. All this fret and worry for nothing. I was in Greece.

I ran to the bus as fast as possible and got in my seat in case they realized they made a mistake. We pulled away a couple passengers short about a half hour later and I finally got to relax.

So I popped another valium, prayed I wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom for the next 10 hours and fell asleep.